Misery

Have you ever been in so much pain you black out?

I was right there last night. Sweating, crying and fading in and out while trying to manage my horrible stomach pain.

I don't know what happened either - I mean, I know it was my stomach and digestive area, but I was fine until we decided to go to sleep. I started getting short pains in my stomach that turned into what I imagined labor would be like, it would come in waves and get worse every time. I thought it might be gas so I did all I could to relieve that to no avail. I know, too much information, but I was literally fading out when the waves of pain would come over me. I thought I was going to die. I was in the bathroom yelling for Tim (poor Tim) while he was trying to sleep. I am being honest I have never been this scared and in this much pain before - I couldn't talk, breathe or concentrate on anything except yelping and trying to get into a comfortable position. Just to compare...waking up during surgery years ago was nothing compared to this. Again, not sure what it was, something I ate? Tim and I had the same food for dinner and he was fine - maybe it was my lunch, but it was too late at night for it to be that. I know this is crazy, but while I was in the bathroom trying not to puke I kept thinking...what if I have a giant parasite living in my tummy or worse...what if I end up like one of those ladies on the Discovery Channel who didn't know they were pregnant and I am really having a baby. The mind reels when you are suffering that much. I told Tim about the pregnant thing and the look he gave me was priceless but through my tears of pain and fear, I had to laugh because it probably sounded insane. I don't know what happens chemically when you go through that much pain but I ended up passing out on the couch and went into the bedroom around 1:30 AM. Thought when I woke up this morning I was better so I took a shower and then it started again, not as bad as last night, but still present. I got rid of most of what was residing in my digestive tract but honestly feel like I am stoned or something - maybe from the adrenaline I released from trying to fight the pain last night and completely cleaning house (you know what I mean). The worst part is I really want to be home in my bed and I had to drop my car off this morning to get the oil changed and smog checked so I am sitting in the Whole Foods Market cafe waiting it out hoping that the storm has passed clutching my ginger tea and sipping my electrolyte water. When my car is done I will decide whether or not to office or go home this afternoon.